6.11 Doesn't Seem Right

2017

Dear diary.  I'm so confused but also happy.  

 

I'm did several lesson.  One was painting by some Priestess.  I don't know anything about religion due to being abused by Vienne. 

The other was a piano lessons. I got them to hire  my friend Leah to teach me piano since she's an expert on that.  My only other lesson was self- taught.  Public Speaking. 

Leah is over almost every night for the weekly suppers 

But when I'm go to sleep at night. I feel so small in this large room. Yeah my "Room" at Grant's which was actually the attic which was really larger was smaller in comparison.  I mean it IS a lovely room and they did say I could try to spruce it up but I don't really think I fit in here.

Sure I had some fun times with Prince James.  We even kissed at a pool we visited. 

I showed James how to play in leaves (something I had seen Denise do as a kid-even though I never got the chance myself until now) in the fall

In the winter  Leah, Sara Wendy,  James and I had a  snowball fight. I don't know whom won though.  We then did Snow Angels in the snow and then we all built snow people. 

The castle is filled with servants.  But I just feel so out of place here.  And also it's so jarring to hear my name as "Lady Selene Grant"  (since we don't know my actual last name) like something about it doesn't seem right..

I had more lessons with painting 

public speaking   and 

Piano 

Leah must have felt something was off during her visits to the palace to teach me piano and to have supper with us.  One day when I was out attending to a soup kitchen (one of my duties as a Pateron of the Foods)-so she and James had a meeting and made an arrangement with Prince James that if  the romance between us (James and me) didn't  work out, that I could still count on his help in the future and they even handshake on it 

Two nights later I had both Lean and Sara Wendy over for supper and then afterwards.. I said "Sara Wendy, Leah could I talk with you upstairs in my room?"

When we were upstairs in my room the three of us sat on the floor to talk.  I said "I don't think I'm in love with Prince James."  When they asked me "Selene, why do you think that?"   I replied "I never really had an experience with romantic love none of us have at this point really.. so I think I fall for the romances of true love from  some of the stories Sara Wendy told in the attic of her house.  I think I fall with the infatuation of love with Prince James then actually love."  They said "You should tell him sooner rather then later"  We then tried to figure out a way for me to tell him.  We finally did settle on a way. 

The next day I told Prince James  "I have something to tell you.. but its only I can tell you in song."  Prince James and I went over to the piano and I started singing 

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" Why do these girl fall in love with completely uninteresting men?/

it makes me think it's not love but merely infatuation/ they meet just once and it was love at first sight/but they never spend any more time together/ something about this doesn't seem right/ at least in the books the idea of romance wasn't something they're thinking of/but Disney shows us one little meeting and suddenly it's love

Snow White had a moment...

Cinderella,  a dance

Aurora had a eerie meeting "

At least in the post-Renaissance films , showed love beyond first greeting,

   Aladdin 

and even Ariel  had some time to get to know the object of their affection

Belle 

and Rapunzel didn't trust their men/ they had to work to make a connection 

But these three  think they found true love with one sappy invitation 

so let's us call it what it is, not love but simple infatuation."

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I then finished the song and bowed to James.  James said "That's an interesting break-up song... Yeah I agree what we thought was love was merely infatuation.. neither of us really know true love since I was sent away to boarding school for safety, and you had rough time with your foster-step mother Vienne, Calentine.."    I asked him if I could say until I was 18 even though I wasn't going to be his wife.   He told me to talk to his father King Henry. 

I dressed up a bit before going to talk to King Henry.  I made sure to curtesy to him since he is higher then me.   I said to him "Your Majesty, I want to speak to you about something."  He then asked me to sit down and he also said "you can call me Henry if you want. unoffically of course. when we're not having public events.. you will be my Daughter-in-law eventually.."   I said "That's what I'm want to talk to you about.."

He then asked me to sit down.  I said "I know you want me to be your Daughter-in-law but James and I realize we don't actually love each other and decided to break up. We thought we're in love but we only had infatuation.  But I want to stay here until my eighteen birthday and I'm seventeen now is that all right with you?  And also since I'm not going to be a member of your family could you remove the title of "Lady" you granted me as the Prince's fiancée?"   King Henry agreed to both "Yes, I will allow you to leave here for another year and I will remove the title of Lady..  but if you come to visit you can still call me Henry .. if you want in non-formal occasions."

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song used in the story is the 

Infatuation song by Matt Guion

The Aladdin flying carpet scene I had some help with a discord user on the Paralives discord